Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
