if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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