craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
