But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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