if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
