haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
from now on my penis is your penis
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
