So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize