He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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