Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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