You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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