Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
