Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize