I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
