The maid of honor just puked.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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