He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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