roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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