whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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