Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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