lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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