The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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