Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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