Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
