thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
