I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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