I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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