I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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