Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
