My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
