You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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