im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
