Im at strip club and am horny
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
