So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize