I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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