HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
