So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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