i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
