Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
