quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
50% drunk capacity currently
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
