my mouth tastes like poor choices
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
