I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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