I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
