I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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