she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Holy shit dude........stairs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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