Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
