it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
