please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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