guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
