I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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