is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
