Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
