He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
