i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need water and some morals
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
