They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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