Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
