maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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