she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
