how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
