Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
