Can i not drive my cunt home
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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