giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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