When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
