We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
