Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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