Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize