i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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