Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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