How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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