At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
