pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
