I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
