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Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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