The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
